Welcome, My name is Daniel Shandley and I’m doing a new blog and podcast called Man+Kind.
I’m assembling a series of blogs and podcasts for gentlemen, like me who are caregivers for ladies who have breast cancer.
This is my first-ever attempt at blogging so please bear with me and I hope you find this helpful.
For women diagnosed with breast cancer, studies have indicated that having a supportive and loving caregiver is one of the most important aspects in helping her cope.
For some guys, being told your loved one has breast cancer is very frightening, and the experience can heighten emotions and leave you with a sense of being overwhelmed and a feeling of hopelessness. You may even struggle to know what to do, say or how you can support her.
I thought I could do it by myself when in fact I needed a mentor, I wish another chap would have come and put an arm around my shoulder and said hey Dan this is going to be tough. But with courage and faith you will get through this. Here’s some advice on what to look out for and what to do in these situations.
A study published in the National Library of Medicine Journal in Australia documented that: Supporting a loved one with cancer impacts caregivers' physical health mental health and financial status. Many caregivers feel ill-prepared, particularly when required to address complex medical needs while supporting their loved one with the psychological challenges patients experience following a cancer diagnosis. Specifically, male caregivers of women with BC experience high levels of psychological stress in relation to their caregiving role. Acknowledgement: This report was by PMC pubmed central National Library of Medicine Journal of Patient Experience 2020 Dec.
Drawing on my own experiences, I want to start a movement where men can help each other through conversations and advice as we navigate our own journeys, through all the good bad and ugly of being the carer for someone diagnosed with breast cancer.
I hope we can find some comfort in shared experiences and be able to help our loved ones as we begin on this road of uncertainty and time of fear and worry.
In this blog and podcast series i will cover subjects like,
The diagnosis
The operations
Starting Chemo
Starting Radiotherapy
Relationships and the psychological impact
Looking after yourself
False hopes like miracle cures and complimentary therapies
Secondary diagnosis
And Support networks
Each podcast/blog episode will be in two parts, the first part drawing on my recollection of events and what I found useful or unhelpful and how I learned how to look after my wife, how I managed to get through each event. There will also be examples of what women want from their partners.
I will also try and remember all the things that didn't go so well, things you might want to avoid.
The second part of the podcast draws on my faith in Jesus and how this helped keep my head up and heart strong in the storm of this illness. It will also be my recollection of how I navigated the unseen, the unknown, a higher metaphysical, spiritual level. All the science we have helps us to get through the physical earthly life. But what about the spiritual. I believe we need more than Science can offer and faith in the unseen can take us to a whole new level, its where we can find hope and love, its where we can lighten the load of life's burdens.
For this second half, please don't feel obliged to listen on, if you do not want to.
But, if you do decide to explore this, I am certain that you will find some comfort and hope that faith will bring. You can find a faith so strong, that this storm wont define you. Faith that is a shelter to run to when your struggles burden you. More than anything the 'Hope' you will discover if you believe.
Your journey, in fact all our journeys are very unique. You may have just started facing your own storm or like me you have been in a storm for some time.
Please feel free to stop at any point, or just hop in and out and listen to episodes as you want to and where you feel the subjects might be more appropriate in your current circumstances.
It’s also really important for me to emphasize, I don't want this to be all about me, its certainly not all about me. There's a whole other story of Catherine's battle, bravery and struggles and how she heroically faced this nightmare.
There's also the other people in our lives, friends and family who also helped in their own special ways. We couldn't have done without them and we are eternally grateful.
It's funny how cancer can open your eyes to see who your genuine friends really are. And the ones that aren't and the new friends you will undoubtably discover.
This storm might be incredibly difficult and will undoubtedly bring on heightened emotions.
You will need courage and all the love you can give to get her through this dark time.
I hope you will find this information useful and if I can help just one person, then hopefully, hopefully something good will come from these experiences.
In loving memory of my dearest Catherine Shandley, a devoted wife and mother who gave her love in abundance.
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