2.1 From Fear to Faith: An Unraveling Journey Towards Emboldened Courage

Hello again, and thank you for joining me.

When faced with this illness, we couldn't help but ask where God was and why she had to suffer. We longed for a sign, a miracle, anything to reassure us that we weren't alone in this battle.

Before we move forward, let's take a moment to pray. Let us invite the Holy Spirit to come into our hearts and minds to give us the wisdom we need to understand God's love in the darkest moments. Let us offer ourselves up to Him and ask for the courage, wisdom, and hope we need in this storm.

Father God, I carry many doubts and fears that cause me stress and anxiety. We pray for your answers, and we remind ourselves that you are with us every step of the way. Holy Spirit guide us, and show us your love, and help us understand your plans for us.

Amen.

The enemy wants you to doubt yourself. Its his greatest weapon, he wants you to question the effectiveness of prayer, and whether it's even worth believing. He wants you to doubt God's existence and that God will not help you in your time of need. He wants you to give up.

When we feel like we're shouting towards the sky, but nothing is happening, it's so easy to give up. That's precisely what the enemy wants you to do. But you must not give up; you must continue to pray, hold on to faith, and trust that God has a plan for us. We don't have to do this on our own.

There will be moments where we witness the beauty of God's work, moments where we witness suffering and there will be moments where we don't receive answers we want. However, we must persevere and continue to trust that God is with us, and that his plan is full of love and healing.

We must hold on to faith, even when the answer is not immediate, and not give up. Trust that God hears us and that he is with us in the storm. Keep repeating the prayer, and boldly knock on the door while singing louder and louder. Keep the faith, and in the midst of the storm, let our praises roar!

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I grew up watching my parents "make do and mend" various items such as washing machines, cars, and other household appliances. As a result, I have acquired a knack for fixing broken things, including buildings, cars, and electrical items.

However, when my wife got sick, I quickly realised that I couldn't fix this problem just by opening it up and tinkering around. It was challenging to feel as if there was nothing practical to be done to help fix her. To be honest I felt useless and completely at a loss, the enemy was telling me I'm not good enough and I cant do anything to help. I was feeling totally helpless.

In those moments, I had to learn that my wife needed me to offer support in ways beyond my skills as a handyman. I had to be there for her, and that meant spending time with her, listening to her, and offering emotional support whenever necessary. As a caregiver, it's essential to recognise that simply being there for your loved one can make all the difference.

I had only just started my journey with Jesus and I struggled to understand God's role in the midst of her illness. I wasn't certain how to pray, I had no idea how to lay it all down to God, and how to trust in His plan. As I began to explore my faith in more detail, I discussed various aspects of prayer with a knowledgeable friend who was knowledgeable and experienced in faith, he helped me with my understanding.

Feeling helpless in terms of helping my wife, I decided to try the 'Praying and Listening' approach, looking for a quite and peaceful place I walked around a nearby farm to petition my requests to God.

Finding a quiet meadow near a river, I sat on a trunk of a large fallen oak tree. The tree was stark in its state of decay, with no bark and its branches bleached almost white from the sun. I rested in the crook of the branch and made my prayer. Though it was a haphazard attempt, it most likely went something like this...

'Dear God,

Erm.....Please help me. I love my wife so much, and I am at a loss for what to do. I feel scared and helpless. Please, show me what I need to do to help her.' Amen.

I was told I should make my prayer and then sit quietly and listen for a response. As I sat there and tried to listen, I struggled to quiet my mind and wait for an answer. My doubts crept in, and I wondered if faith was real, or I was fooling myself. Despite this, I tried to push the negative thoughts out of my mind and persisted, hoping that if God was real, he would eventually answer me.

After an hour of waiting, I still hadn't received an answer. Wondering if it was that easy or not or if I had prayed correctly, I got up to leave. As I made my way home, navel gazing and kicking stones feeling somewhat disappointed, my thoughts spinning around in my head and still feeling at a loss. Suddenly as I was continuing along my phone vibrated in my pocket, alerting me to a notification. It was the newly installed Bible app, alerting me to the daily Verse - "Love is the Greatest" from 1 Corinthians 13.

I stopped for a moment to take a look at the verse and whilst reading those words, I was deeply moved, and I decided to read the chapter in full over and over several times. It was a lightbulb moment and it was like the scripture spoke to my heart and reminded me that even in the midst of the turmoil, we could always rely on love. It helped me understand that we can have all sorts of gifts and talents but that love is the most critical thing, all of our talents and gifts are useless without love and when we embrace it, we can endure any difficulty.

My understanding of this verse is this. In Pauls letter to the Corinthians, the apostle he them of the spiritual gifts bestowed upon them by God, including wisdom, knowledge, faith, healing, miracles, prophecy, discernment of spirits, and speaking in tongues. However, Paul emphasises that these gifts are meaningless without the addition of the three principal graces: faith, hope, and love.

As I pondered over this verse, I struggled to grasp its meaning. It wasn't until I experienced a physical sensation, a feeling of something beautiful happening within me, that I finally understood. In that moment, on my walk, I realised for the first time that God had just spoken directly to me through his words in the Bible.

Through the scripture, I learned that I already possessed the necessary tool to help care for my wife during this difficult time. The gift I had bestowed upon me was love and my love for her. I didn't need a physical utensil like a screwdriver, hammer, or spanner; it was my love was what would help me support her through the storm.

As I continued to care for her, this verse serves as a constant reminder of the gift that God has given me. It reminds me of my responsibility to her and the promise I made to God when we married in 2007, to love her selflessly and to always be there for her in her times of need.

So as we move forward and face the challenges ahead, I will forever keep this verse close to my heart, knowing that LOVE! is the greatest of all gifts and the key to fulfilling my marriage vows and promises made to her and God.

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Life can often feel like a continuous and arduous journey, and we may sometimes believe that we are capable of handling anything that comes our way. But when we face our own or our loved ones' mortality, it can be hard to cope. We are unsure of when the end will come, or how much pain we may have to endure. It is in times like these that we need to believe in something more significant than ourselves - we need hope.

As someone who believed I could handle everything life threw my way, facing mortality was challenging for me. I struggled with the fact that an end was uncertain and the amount of pain that could be suffered was unknown. Despite being a quite new to the faith, I put my faith and trust and turned to God for guidance when I was feeling cynical about the concept of God, heaven, and the idea of divine power.

Through the Bible app notification, I received the first of many moments of clarity from God. These moments helped me realise that we all need to believe in something more significant than ourselves - that He gives us hope and helps us cope during difficult times.

In the upcoming blogs, I will discuss these moments and their impact on my journey. But for now, it is essential to recognise that finding hope in difficult times is crucial to our wellbeing.

Through my journey, God has taught me some valuable lessons, and at the core of them is the power of faith, hope, and the love unfailing God has for us.

Our Faith is the belief in the divinity of God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, and the living of our souls in Him. It is through faith that we can find solace and comfort in difficult times, as we trust in a higher power.

Our Hope is the expectation of future happiness and this can only be obtained through our reliance on God. It is through hope that we can find the strength to endure through challenging situations because we believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

And above all, we need to know and feel love. Love is not just an emotion but a conscious decision to devote ourselves to God and express kindness towards others. It's a powerful force that can heal wounds and bring people together. Love is patient, kind, and does not envy, boast, or show pride. To know love is to know God.

Even when we're faced with fear and an uncertain future, love can help us hold onto our hope and faith. It's the greatest gift that we have received and can give to ourselves and others.

So, as we continue on our journey through life, it's imperative to remember that God if for us and not against us. The power of faith, hope, and love can help us find our way, even in the darkest of times.

Closing Prayer:

Loving God, we come before you now, setting aside this time to be with you. As we quiet our minds and open our hearts to your presence, draw us closer to you. I thank you for your holiness and grace, which enables us to bring our worries to you.

Lord, we recognise that there are some things we cannot fix and that we need to be obedient, waiting and listening for your guidance. Sometimes we struggle to pray or understand your voice. We need your help to see with our eyes and feel with our hearts.

Jesus, we pray that you would help us understand what we can achieve and what our limits are. Teach us to pray and help us to listen and wait obediently for you to show us what we need. Open our hearts to receive your word, and open our eyes to see the path you want us to take.

We bow down before you, Jesus, and we open our senses to find, feel, and hear you. We wait patiently before you, and we pray that your will be done in our lives.

Holy spirit teach us to understand how we can love ourselves and others and thank you for your gifts of the spirit and teaching us how to love the best way we can.

Lead us in truth and grace, Holy Spirit; protect and work through us today, tomorrow, and forevermore.

Amen