When dealing with illnesses, either the person that is ill or the person caring for them can feel socially isolated because of their circumstances. There are several lessons we can learn from the Bible that can guide our actions and attitudes.
In my own life and through church, I feel really grateful to have met some truly remarkable individuals who supported us and became good friends. They constantly stayed by our side, extending help and care whenever we needed help. Whether it was offering assistance with daily tasks, watching over our children, or simply providing a listening ear, these friends uplifted our spirits and filled our lives with indescribable joy. Their presence was a true blessing, a comfort in both good and challenging times.
However, it was inevitable that, at times, we encountered social isolation and experienced the pain of broken trust. These instances were heart-wrenching and even terrifying, casting a shadow over our lives. Just as we trust in the beauty of friendship, we needed to acknowledge the reality of its fragility. It pains me to think about the abandonment experienced during our darkest moments, when some individuals we deeply trusted chose to drift away.
Contemplating the suffering of those who have been forsaken by their loved ones, I am reminded of the lepers in biblical times. These outcasts, afflicted with a physically and socially isolating disease, must have felt profound loneliness and despair. Their vulnerabilities made them easy targets for rejection and abandonment by society. How did they cope? How did they find solace in their isolation?
As Christians, we are called to emulate Christ's love and compassion, reaching out to those who are shunned or suffering. In the story of Jesus healing the lepers, we witness not only physical restoration but also the restoration of dignity and belonging. Jesus shows the true essence of friendship and fellowship, regardless of social stigmas or physical conditions. He teaches us that true companionship extends beyond our comfort zones and that our love should encompass those who find themselves in the depths of isolation.
In moments of social isolation, when trusted friends let us down, we can find solace and strength in faith. Jesus promises to never leave us nor forsake us, providing an unwavering presence in our lives. In Matthew 28:20, He assures us, "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Even when human friendships falter, we can find refuge in the eternal friendship offered by Jesus.
While the heartbreak of broken trust and social isolation is real, we must remember that as Christians, we are not defined by the actions of others but by the love and grace of Jesus Christ. We can forgive those who have hurt us, find healing in God's presence, and look for our brothers and sisters in faith who emulate the true essence of Christian friendship.
So, what can we learn from the bible?
Here are several examples in the Bible that touch on the themes of social isolation.
Compassion and Healing
Throughout the Gospels, Jesus demonstrated compassion towards those who were ill, often healing them and restoring them to their community. One striking example is the healing of the leper (Matthew 8:1-3), where Jesus touched the leper, an act that broke significant social taboos, showing that compassion should override societal norms of separation.
Putting this into context of social norms of this time, leprosy sufferers would have had to leave their homes and families and pushed aside to live together with other sufferers on the outskirts of the town. They would have to scavenge for food. They were forbidden to have any contact with people who did not have the disease and they had to ring a bell and shout “unclean” if anyone approached them.
This often happens to people even today who suffer with some form of disease or who the people who are caring for them. Even being ostracised by people considered to be close friends, people who we thought loved us. In todays world this maybe not be putting us on the outskirts of town, but looks more like, no longer being included in social events. Being excluded form group gatherings, cut off from friends who say 'i didn't know what to say.....’
Having been a carer I think the lesson we take from this is to not stick to the social norms, reach out and hold people in need, ask questions around normal life, invite them to the parties, concerts and other social events. Offer them prayer for healing and freedom from the discomfort and stresses. All this is within our power. God’s gift of the spirit in us to do his work.
Act 2:38 Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.
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The Value of Individual Care
The parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37) teaches us to care for those in need, regardless of their social or ethnic background. This parable encourages us to take individual action to support those who are suffering or marginalized.
A man is traveling to Jericho, he's robbed and beaten and left for dead. Not one, but two 'respectable' religious leaders cross over the road to avoid the man in need! Then a Samaritan helped him and paid for his care. The Samaritan had no issues with who he was helping, his background or indeed his religion. He showed compassion and care for another person.
I think the lesson we take from this is not to cross over to the other side, continue to love your neighbour as he has shown us with this parable. Don't step aside, step in and be close to people in need. Don't assume others are doing so. Being a cancer patient and cancer patient’s carer can be a lonely place sometimes. If you can be there, it may seem insignificant, but it may mean the world to the people in need.
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Spiritual Support
In James 5:14-16, the early Christian community is instructed to pray over the sick and confess their sins to one another as a form of healing. This signifies the importance of spiritual support and community in healing processes, emphasizing that care for the sick extends beyond physical healing. When someone we love and care for is unwell, we can call upon our brothers and sisters in the Church community to all pull together in prayers for healing. The care from the Church community can also be a great support to us carers as we navigate the uncertainty and challenges that being a carer brings. In this we are not alone, we have both the Church community and more importantly we have God right there with us. Also by asking God for help with prayer brings more than just physical healing. It brings faith (trusting in the unseen), Hope (hope there is more, and this is not the end) and love, love will overcome any obstacle set in our way. It opens the door that brings us out of isolation.
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Inclusion and Restoring Community
Jesus’ interactions with marginalized individuals often concluded with their reintegration into society. For instance, after healing individuals, He would instruct them to return to their communities or engage in community practices (Mark 5:19, Luke 17:14). This underscores the importance of working towards the inclusion of those who have been isolated due to illness. Being a carer, I witnessed the change in Catherine’s physical appearance and the stress this placed on her. In today’s society with media publishing false impressions of the perfect hair, body or lifestyle, the pressure is on to look good and try and meet these expectations. Having gone through physical changes the consciousness of meeting these expectations is amplified. Its so tempting to hide away from everyone when you feel this way. As a carer we need help to understand this and to find ways of supporting our loved ones though these tough challenges. Through prayer and support of the Church we need to go the extra mile to make them feel more welcomed than ever. As a carer we need to tell the Church this and ask for their prayers and help in not marginalising us and being more active to encourage integration and support for those isolated during illness.
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Support and Bearing Each Other's Burdens
Galatians 6:2 teaches, "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ." Those who are ill and socially isolated carry heavy burdens, not just of their health, but often emotional and spiritual burdens as well. Offering support, acknowledging their struggles, and helping in practical ways can be powerful demonstrations of love and compassion. This passage tells us as carers to be creative. We need to be active in helping to restore our loved one. We also need to tell others this is what we need. That is the patient and the carer. Some help carrying our burdens. This is Christ’s Law. No one should feel too proud to help others. As carers we quite often carry burdens and feelings of guilt. There is no shame in asking for help and prayer. Tell people how difficult things may be. Sharing these burdens invites others to help. Help though Christ is a wonderful offering not to be refused. Isolation can be, because of others or it can also be self-imposed. So go ahead and speak to your Church community, ask for prayer and support, open the door and Christ in and lock the isolation out.
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Encouragement and Hope
Offering words of hope and encouragement can be critical for someone who is ill and feeling outcast. The Bible is filled with verses that can offer comfort and hope, such as Psalm 34:18, "The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit," and Romans 15:13, which speaks of the God of hope. When caring for someone who is struggling with an illness we see them ‘having their heart broken’ and being ‘kicked in the gut’. This might leave us as a carer feeling that we are a bystander and unable to stop this from happening. This is also true for us, we can similarly be feeling broken hearted and kicked in the gut. Whilst the unwell person is getting help and support it maybe that we are not. We can feel neglected and outcast and maybe we have accepted this because all we want is the person we are caring for to get the support and help. The Psalm 34:18 is a reminder through these trials that God is with us through this torment. He will pick us up and help us catch our breath. Sometimes when it’s tough, lamenting this in prayer and asking for help is what we need to do. In Romans 15:13 we know that we can be filled with hope by the power of the holy spirit! To know this, we can rest and be encouraged that God will fill us with hope and restore us with joy and peace when we trust in him.
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Advocacy and Action
Proverbs 31:8-9 calls us to "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy." This can involve advocating for those who are ill, ensuring they have access to care and support, and working to reduce stigma and barriers that contribute to their isolation. We are called out as carers to do this, we also need others to do this for us, to enable us to offer the best care we can. Perhaps in my own way this what I am doing with this blog. Ask God for help with becoming an active advocate and for help if you feel like you have become isolated.
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Testimony of How God Intervened
It was not long after the initial treatment had been completed and we were somewhere in between scans and treatments and some normality was settling in, we were hopeful that it was all over, and treatment was now finished. My wife had another scan, and the results were bad. More treatment was needed. Also, in this interim period she had fallen out with a very close relative, someone important and needed for their support and love. Both were stubbornly refusing to make any attempt to reconcile, I can’t even remember what the problem was about. I could see this was not good and needed to be fixed. I had no idea how and I felt torn between doing the right thing and going behind her back to try and fix the situation by meeting up with the other person to try and explain the situation and importance of reconciling and to ask for them to speak with my wife.
At a loss for what to do I put this struggle to God and with prayer asked for help. Through this I was presented with an image of Catherine, in a hot air balloon caught in a storm and being buffeted around by the raging winds. From the basket of the balloon hung several ropes and on the ground each of her loved ones had a hold of a rope. As the balloon was blown in a certain direction so the person on the end of a rope had to take their turn to take the strain and hold on tightly and prevent the balloon being blown of course.
I explained this to them and that when the balloon is blown in certain directions, we must take our turn to take the strain. The storm was symbolic of Catherine's torment and fear. Wall had to take turns and hold on and take the strain as Catherine vented her fears. Not to take it like a personal attack, but more as a them being safe person for Catherine to vent frustrations onto.
Through this vision and wisdom bestowed upon me from God I was able to begin the building of a bridge of reconciliation. It worked and I know now if I hadn’t done this much more hurt and aguish would have been suffered.
Some time later, over a year or so later. A person in my church came and rested his hand on my shoulder, just after a time of worship and waiting for the Holy Spirit to work through us. He said he felt God telling him to tell me something. His exact words ‘God has told me you can let go of the ropes now, you can let the balloon go’ This chap had no way of knowing about this conversation and image I had used. Catherine had sadly died a few weeks earlier.
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It is through these lessons, the God teaches us to act with compassion, offer support, and work towards the inclusion of those who are ill and those who are carers and experiencing social isolation, reflecting Jesus’ example of unconditional love and healing. Friendship and fellowship are indeed incredible blessings from a Christian perspective. As believers, we are called to love and support one another, and genuine friendships hold immense value in our lives. Today I hold on so dearly to the many friends who came to our aid when we really need them. Through these relationships, we can share joyous moments, create lasting memories, and experience the beauty of companionship but more importantly the relationship we have with Jesus Christ.
Closing Prayer
Father God, we are so grateful for Your presence during our trials of illness and the challenges of social isolation. We thank You for the companionship of friends, family, and kind strangers who have stood by us as we support those battling breast cancer.
We humbly seek Your forgiveness for the times we failed to act rightly, causing disappointment and pain through our actions. Moreover, we ask for Your help to forgive those who have caused us hurt and isolation during our trials. Grant us the wisdom to focus on You, remembering that it is through Your love we find faith, hope, and the strength to persevere.
We lay before You, God, as caregivers and those feeling isolated, praying for Your intervention in our lives. Show us the path to overcoming social isolation and guide us in offering support to others who suffer from its impacts. We pray for Your healing touch on broken hearts and the restoration of strained relationships, guiding us with wisdom as we seek to repair bonds.
Jesus, we entrust our lives and these challenges to You, believing in Your plan for our well-being. In Your holy name, Jesus, we offer this prayer. Amen.
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